Internal Pandemonium
by Ink Runs Through My Veins
Summary: So what if she was in love with Jace? He wasn't her ward, he didn't decide when she got to go out with her friends and enjoy life and feel like a normal teenager. She would hit him if he said otherwise.


Warning: This takes place somewhere between books two and three. Madeline hasn't showed up yet. Sorry for the spoilers.

I don't own the characters. I attach strings to them and shout, "Dance marionettes! Dance for my pleasure!"

* * *

So he wanted to be just siblings? Fine by Clary. That meant she could do whatever the hell she wanted. He may be her brother now, but he was _**so**_ not her warden. So if she wanted to go to Pandemonium just because, she would without his permission.

The fact that Simon's band was playing at Pandemonium was just a side benefit. It was not (was _**not**_) her excuse.

She had the dress and the makeup (both lent from Isabelle, who had been sworn under secrecy in return for a few favors involving training on her part, lipstick that could melt demon hide, and way too much fur and demon ichor), she had the ride (Simon swiped Eric's van again) and she had the money to get in (Luke had been very generous in his allowances lately, mostly due to the fact that he felt a little guilty about avoiding her in the beginning when her mother was missing). She was all ready to go. Now why the hell was Jace standing in front of her escape route?

He spotted her before she could hide. He glared and walked towards her, backing her up until she was captured between his arms and a wall.

"Just what," His voice made her knees grow week despite the fact that she had talked to him at dinner not an hour before. "are you doing out of your room in that," He glanced disdainfully at her dress. "obnoxious thing you call clothing?"

Clary glared back. "I happen to be going to Pandemonium. Got a problem with that?"

"Why yes, I do."

"Why?"

Jace tapped his chin thoughtfully before glaring at her again. "Because Pandemonium attracts demons and you being there, alone, without training and protection, would be vulnerable to an attack. See now why I'm not going to let you out of this house?"

Clary rolled her eyes and patted her thigh. "Isabelle gave me one of her thigh straps to put my dagger in in case something happened. Despite what you may think, Jace, I happen to learn from my mistakes sometimes."

"Then why go to a feeding ground for demons?"

"It's the closest underage club that I know of. Besides, Simon and his band are performing there and I promised to be there. I'll be perfectly safe."

"Simon will be too busy on stage to even notice if you were in danger." Jace rolled his eyes. "You can't just go another night?"

"They aren't playing another night Jace! Now move or I'll be late!"

Clary tried to go around his arms, but was only slammed back against the wall. She gasped as air was painfully and unwillingly forced out of her lungs. Jace's expression changed from angry to horrified in a second. He released Clary so quickly you would have thought she was on fire.

Once she caught her breath she glared at her brother. "Was that really necessary, you jerk?" She wanted to call him something much worse than a jerk. Jace still looked horrified, staring at his hands as if they were his seraph blades. Not wanting to hear any of his excuses she walked past him, making sure to slam her shoulder into his before slamming the door.

* * *

If Simon was concerned about her brooding and angry muttering he politely ignored it and instead, kept her entertained with talking about the band.

"It's going to be awesome!" He sang. "We've been working on this new demo for awhile now and I think we're really going somewhere." He gave a look of disgust. "I still can't believe that Eric named us the Hedgehog Killers. I love hedghogs!"

Clary couldn't help but smile. It felt just like the old days, before she knew she was a Shadowhunter. Before she knew she was related to Jace. "Simon?"

"Hmm?"

She bit her lip. "I'm sorry, for everything."

He looked at her with confusion, taken aback by how much pain was visible in her eyes. "What do you mean?"

"I mean I'm sorry I got you involved with all this Shadowhunter crap. I put you in danger and I almost got you killed by vampires." She whispered the last word. "Then I got you turned into one. If it wasn't for me–"

"Then I wouldn't have ever seen this whole other side to the world." He pulled into a space in the Pandemonium parking lot and cupped her cheek after killing the car. "I now know the reason why my best friend is such an amazing and brave person. Don't apologize. I actually liked being turned into a rat, despite the sudden urge to chew on anything within an inch radius. The vampire thing isn't that big of a deal, and it was my fault. So what if I need to drink blood to survive? I'm still the same handsome and dorky Simon who shoves honey sticks up his nose because he likes the smell."

Clary couldn't help but giggle. This is why Simon was her best friend. He always made her feel better, even if she felt like crap. "Thanks Simon."

He smiled softly. "Anytime. C'mon, let's go rock out and forget all our worries."

"Sounds like a plan."

* * *

The lights were dimmed, the music was pounding and Clary had just downed her third root-beer. Simon and the band were really rocking out tonight and everyone in the crowd was dancing to their songs.

Everything was perfect tonight. Naturally, there just had to be a demon.

He was tall, well-built, and staring right at Clary. He would have been handsome if not for the multiple piercings all around his face, the fact that half his hair was neon gelled and sticking up like some 80's punk-rocker wannabe, and most of his clothes were either black, leather or both. He was staring at her like she was a piece of steak he just couldn't wait to devour.

In Clary's case, this was unfortunately true.

He slid next to her, one hand in his pocket. "Hey there." Clary stared at the band, hoping the demon would get the hint and take a hike before she had to do something rash that would involve a lot of pain on the demon's part. "You alone?"

"No."

The demon was visibly taken aback by the bluntness of her answer, but didn't believe her. "Oh yeah? Who with?"

"A guy on stage." He raised a brow, silently encouraging her to go on. "Guy in the back on the drums."

"That wimpy lookin' vamp?"

"He is not a wimp." Clary hissed. The nerve of this guy! "He happens to be my best friend, you jerk! Shove off and go bug someone else!"

His lips pulled back in a sneer. "I don't think you want to be talking to me like that, sweetie."

Before he even made a move to touch her she had twisted his arm behind his back and shoved him into a wall. Clary ignored his spluttering to growl in favor of congratulating herself for holding down a demon without any help. "I haven't exactly been having the greatest night and you being here isn't helping. Leave me alone before I take your man-parts and stick them up places you never even knew you had. Now waddle away _**sweetie**_ before someone really gets hurt. Here's a hint: it isn't going to be _**me**_."

She shoved the demon away from her. He was about to lunge when they both heard clapping. They both turned to see Jace, smirking while leaning against a wall. "Nice moves Clary. Never knew you had it in you, sis."

Clary sneered. "There's a lot you don't know about me, bro."

Jace's lips twitched into his version of a smile. He turned to the demon. "Leave, demon. I think you've caused enough trouble for tonight."

The demon snarled. "Shadowhunters. Why must you guys get in the way of my kills?"

Clary couldn't help but roll her eyes. "Because you kill people. No other reason." Before he could say something else Clary interrupted. "Look, go find some mundane to bother and leave us alone. We'll come for you later." The demon snarled again, but shrank away under Clary's fierce glare and sullenly walked away. Clary turned to her blond companion. "What are you doing here?

"I followed you, isn't that obvious?"

"I believe the appropriate question is why."

He suddenly looked exhausted and Clary realized that besides the occasional nap, Jace really didn't sleep. Too many demons, too many worries. Too many deaths that he thought was his fault. Imogen, Malik, some others who had left friends and lovers and _**family **_behind to mourn their tragic deaths– "I was worried about you."

"In case you haven't noticed, I'm fine. If you hadn't come, I probably would have taken care of the demon by myself."

Jace raised a perfect brow and Clary was suddenly jealous of how handsome he looked despite the fact that he was obviously exhausted. "With what weapons?"

"I told you I have a dagger. I also have a stele, just in case I need runes to help."

Her brother scowled. "You should have marked yourself before you left."

Clary snorted. "And let all the mundanes see what _**wonderfully weird **_tattoos I have? Jace, I have friends here who know I've never gotten a tattoo before or had any scars."

"Who cares what they think so long as you can protect yourself?"

"I can protect myself just fine even without runes!" Clary was shouting now. "I'm not the helpless mundane I was when I met you, Jace. _**I don't need you to protect me anymore**_." For a moment, Clary could have sworn that there was bit of sadness in his eyes as he gazed at her in shock. After a long stare-down, Jace finally relented and hung his head. He whispered something so quietly that Clary couldn't hear. "What?"

"I said I know that you don't need me to protect you anymore. But sometimes, I just can't help but wish that we could go back to those days. The days when I had to protect you because you had no idea how to defend yourself. The days when I thought...when we were just two teenagers kissing because we thought it was right and no other reason."

Clary blushed. "Jace–"

"I know you can protect yourself." Jace went on as if she hadn't spoken his name. "I just get..._**twitchy**_, if you will, when I don't have you in my sight and know you are okay."

Clary snorted. "Twitchy?"

Jace laughed with her. "Yes, twitchy." He was more serious. "Look, I know I've been going old-brother-comando on you lately. Clary, all my life, ever since Valentine made himself look dead, I've always felt so alone. You don't know how many times I wished Maryse was my real mother, or that Alec or Max or even Izzy were my real siblings so I could have someone to relate to. Someone who could share the burden of not having a family anymore." He looked at her. "When I found out you were my sister, I thought I would finally have someone I could relate to. But I was in love with you and I loathed the entire situation. You were that one person who would understand me just a little more than everyone else thought they did, but you weren't raised by Valentine. You grew up in a safer environment than I did and I grew jealous of you."

Clary suddenly realized that she had never seen him more weary or sincere. He wasn't exactly closed-off, but he had never shared his pain openly if he could avoid it. Usually an _iratze _rune healed him up fine enough without having to alert anyone that he was actually in pain. She sighed. He was such a pain in the ass, handsome brother or not. "I'll make you a deal." She interrupted his rant.

He perked up. "I'm listening."

"I will," She ground her teeth. "_**try**_ not to be so impulsive," She had to bite her tongue to not attack him while he was laughing. "if you will try to not be so overprotective of me. I think we will both be happier this way, you not worrying about me most of the time and me not wanting to stab you in the eye with one of Izzy's sharper heels."

He grinned. "Deal. Question?"

"Hm?"

"We're gonna kill the demon later, right?"

"Oh yeah. I call final stab."

* * *

It sucks. Definitely not my best, but suck it up, read it and review.


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